Just... Grrrrr!

I remember when Princess JF was one of my best sleepers. Not anymore! She woke up at 5:45am today crying because she wanted me. So, I let her lay in bed with me since SuperDad's alarm was going to set to go off in 15 minutes anyways. After calming her down, and hearing the alarm, she and SuperDad went to go prepare for the day. {He is so great in that he has always got the girls ready for school while I sleep in with the baby since I am such a night owl with the older two. But back to the story at hand...} 15 minutes after they got up SuperDad came to get me and said he needed my help.

When I walked into our upstairs gameroom I noticed Princess JF sitting in the recliner with her arms crossed and face streaming with tears. I turned to look at my hubby and he tells me that she has told him that she isn't going to school any more and will be homeschooled from now on. She had told him over and over and when he asked if I had agreed to this {he knew I had not} she said she simply didn't care either way. Now, we have prayed and prayed about this one decision in particular because of how anxious she gets about school. But, I have been advised {on very good counsel I must add} and have read repeatedly that it will be best to keep her in public school. We do not want to hinder any progress and enable her fears by allowing her to stay home. So, although it hurts my heart to see her cry simply because she has to leave for school, I am bound and determined to see her overcome this fear!

It took lots of talking to finally get her to agree to get dressed, only to met with more refusal when it came time for her to put her shoes on, as well as downright defiance when we asked her to brush her teeth and hair! Grrrr! We need special prayers for wisdom, understanding, and patience! Yes, I am praying for patience because we are already being tested in the area... we now need to see the fruit of it in our spirit!

After it was all said and done, we were finally get her off to school without too many more tears. Then we started going round and round with the pharmacist over her prescription refill! Seriously?! Grrrr again! When we initially filled the prescription it was through the Children's hospital where she spent 5 days. Well, being a good 45 minutes away we thought it would be nice {and easy} to transfer the prescription closer to home. Well, we are now on day 3 of trying to get that done! Grrrr!

The hospital pharmacy is next to impossible to get in touch with. Between SuperDad and the local pharmacy they were FINALLY able to make contact and get the process started after almost a full 24 hours. Then, the new pharmacy called back to say they had received the transfer but there were no refills left?! Really? Because the bottle I am looking at says 2 refills before January 24, 2012! Grrrr!

Ok, found the refills. Now the pharmacist needs to know which of the 15 doctors we saw at the hospital actually PRESCRIBED the medicine in order to make sure he has all the information right and the insurance will pay for it? Seriously? Isn't there a doctor's name on the prescription? Yes, but he needs to TALK to someone? So, SuperDad has a call into the hospital waiting to hear back from someone on the floor that we stayed at almost 4 weeks ago to find out WHICH doctor actually prescribed the medicine and can call the local pharmacy! GRRRR!

We thought that by starting the process early we would be sure to get the medicine refilled on time... and before we ran out! Princess JF is not supposed to miss a dose or abruptly stop the medicine! This has been so frustrating and has left us in a "pickle" since there is not much we can do on our end but wait! And now we simply wait for her meds to be filled and pray that we learn plenty as well as get the support we need at the seminar on Saturday! Grrrrr one more time! Ok... better now! :)

"But it is the spirit in a person, the breath of the Almighty, that gives them understanding"
~Job 32:8

UPDATE: Just as I published the post I got a text from SuperDad that the pharmacy has finally got what they needed and can now fill the prescription. Praise, Jesus! *SIGH!*

Could it be... OCD?

Things seemed to happen so quickly after the Christmas break and we are still trying to recoup from the spiraling out of control part.

Princess JF is still on her antidepressants, although it has been 4 weeks now and we have yet to see a change. We told the doctors we would only try them for 6 weeks and determine further administration from that point. I hate knowing my 7 year old is on Lexapro! So, we are still praying through what to do about that situation. We do not like her current psychiatrist the hospital referred us to and are currently searching for another psych as well as a play therapist. This Saturday SuperDad and I will be attending an all-day OCD seminar. After posting about Princess JF's hospital stay on my blog and Facebook I was contacted by a friend who said her daughter was diagnosed with anorexia at 5... only to later be diagnosed with OCD. Every eating disorder has an underlying factor... and determining that factor may help us solve the issue. Princess JF has begun to eat again and her bathroom "issues" are getting better.... but her anxieties and fears have worsened. I have also begun reading a book {What to do when your Child has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder} to try and learn as much as I can about this disorder. As I read, SuperDad and I are finding that we can spot almost every detail explained in Princess JF.

She wakes up every morning around 3:30am on school days... almost without fail. It used to be "I have a stomachache, headache or fever." But now it is "I do not want to go to school." When we wake her for school she yells, "No!" This is quite frustrating knowing how much she adores her teacher and loves going to school! Her attitude at home has even changed and she can get completely out of control and unresponsive to any discipline. Ugh... I pray I get my daughter back soon! : (

Anyways... we are hopeful that the OCD seminar will give us insight into what may {quite possibly} be ailing Princess JF. Once we get a true diagnosis we will know better how to treat her. She tells my husband she doesn't want to go to school because she may miss something at home and will not know she needs to stop and pray for one of us. She even cries on Saturday night about attending church the next day because our family will once more be separated as we attend our own classes. Again, frustrating because she loves going to church and always has!

Her teacher and the school staff have been awesome in helping us walk through this journey. Her teacher has printed out the daily schedule for her so that as they go through the day she can check off each task and know when she can go home. Her school counselor {who, consequently, was also Princess CJ's kindergarten teacher} makes an effort to have lunch with her a couple times a week just to talk. They also share the duty of watching what she eats of her lunch and reporting it back to me. Finally, one of my best friends is the school secretary. Thus, Princess JF knows she has a friend in the office that she can go to when she has a complete breakdown. {They are actually trying to determine if they should keep allowing this to happen... but for now she is our biggest saving grace at the school.}

Princess JF has always done well with schedules and routines, hence one of the main reasons we chose public school for her, and one of her compulsions is time {I, myself, suffer from a similar compulsion}. Time, fear of loss, control, the list goes on and on. She needs perfection and strives to make everyone around her do the same! My other kids don't try as hard and it causes lots of disruption. We have banned any talk of weight, death, loss of any kind, and more just to try and keep things going smoothly {although its tough with the teenagers sometimes}!

We are hopeful that we will get new information this Saturday and will be directed to a good psychiatrist that specializes in the treatment of OCD. The suggested treatment plan requires both medication and Cognitive Behavior Treatment. Prayerfully we can get her the help she needs soon and we can get our daughter back! I so miss the Princess JF I knew before Christmas.

Loved seeing her smile when we gave her a Valentine gift: a watch to help her track the time throughout the day! <3